Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Plot

A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps — and become a porn star.

Release Year: 2011

Rating: 2.9/10 (3,911 voted)

Critic's Score: 9/100

Director:
Tom Brady

Stars: Nick Swardson, Don Johnson, Christina Ricci

Storyline
A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps — and become a porn star.

Writers: Adam Sandler, Allen Covert

Cast:

Nick Swardson
–

Bucky Larson

Christina Ricci
–

Kathy McGee

Don Johnson
–

Miles Deep

Stephen Dorff
–

Dick Shadow

Ido Mosseri
–

J. Day

Kevin Nealon
–

Gary

Edward Herrmann
–

Jeremiah Larson

Miriam Flynn
–

Debbie Larson

Mario Joyner
–

Claudio

Tyler Spindel
–

Jimmy

Meredith Giangrande
–

Blueberry

Nicholas Turturro
–

Antonio

(as Nick Turturro)

Mary Pat Gleason
–

Marge

Jackie Sandler
–

Casting Director

Dana Goodman
–

Gretchen

(as Dana Min Goodman)

Taglines:
There Are No Small Actors. Just Small Parts.

Details

Official Website:
Official site [United States] |

Release Date: 9 September 2011

Filming Locations: Guinness World Records Museum – 6764 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA

Box Office Details

Budget: $10,000,000

(estimated)

Opening Weekend: $1,415,023
(USA)
(11 September 2011)
(1500 Screens)

Gross: $2,331,318
(USA)
(18 September 2011)

Technical Specs

Runtime:

USA: 97 min

User Review

A movie with absolutely no life whatsoever

Rating:

How does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? Here is a movie that
appeals to no audience I can think of, and yet it is playing on
thousands of screens. The only logical explanation I can come to for
this movie's existence is that Mr. Sandler has some very incriminating
photos of someone at Columbia Pictures.

Our title hero, Bucky (played by comedian Nick Swardson), is a dweeb.
Not a funny one, or a likable one, but a pathetic dweeb who seems to
live in his own world. Bucky hails from a small Midwest farm town,
where he works as a bag boy at a grocery store, until he's fired about
two minutes after the opening movie credits. He goes to a friend's
house, where they decide to cheer him up by showing him a classic porno
film starring a pair of legendary porn stars named Rosie Bush and Jim
Spraysium. Seconds into watching the film, Bucky recognizes the stars
as being his parents. Rather than be horrified, he is entranced by the
idea that his parents were once in movies. It's at that moment he
decides that it's his destiny to be a star as well, and decides to head
to California and make it in "nude movies".

Bucky arrives in Hollywood with big dreams, but seemingly little common
sense, as when he auditions for a mac and cheese commercial, and
immediately drops his pants and starts jerking off in front of the
horrified director and casting crew. Fortunately, the director on the
commercial shoot used to work in the porn business, and directs Bucky
to someone who can help him. The first person Bucky meets is the porn
star Dick Shadow (Stephen Dorff), who is currently the biggest thing in
the movies (in more ways than one), and immediately shuns him. He's
later introduced to Miles Deep (Don Johnson, looking particularly
embarrassed here), a down on his luck porn director who is so desperate
to make a movie, he's even willing to give Bucky a shot. The audition
does not go well, as when Bucky drops his pants, his "manhood" is
revealed to be literally microscopic. He also has a tendency to start
screeching like a monkey whenever he sees a woman take her shirt off,
and starts shooting off blasts of his "man juice" like a shotgun all
over the room and ceiling.

Let me stop this plot synopsis, and ask a simple question – Does this
sound like a movie you would want to see? Does it even sound like a
movie to begin with? I find myself returning to my original question,
how does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? It holds absolutely no
laughs, its lead character is an unlikable schmuck with an overbite and
not a shred of knowledge of how to behave in social situations, and
there's literally no plot to speak of. Just one situation after another
for Bucky to humiliate himself. As the movie dragged on for nearly 100
interminable minutes, I came to realize that the entire screenplay
revolves around three basic jokes. 1:) Bucky has buck teeth and talks
funny. 2:) Bucky has a small dick. 3:) Bucky orgasms instantly every
time he sees a woman take her shirt off. The movie repeats these same
jokes many times, as if it thinks if it repeats them enough, it will
wear down our defenses, and we'll eventually start laughing.

Back to the plot – Bucky's disastrous audition winds up on the
Internet, and becomes a sensation. This inspires Miles Deep to give the
guy another chance, and come up with a new form of porn that is
non-threatening to guys (because they know they're better than Bucky),
and is reassuring to women, since they know they are sleeping with a
better guy than Bucky. Somehow, this idea takes off, and Bucky becomes
a major star in the porn industry. He even sweeps the porn film awards,
which is hosted by Pauly Shore, who plays himself in a cameo. It also
means that this is probably the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever
appeared in. (And no, I'm not forgetting BioDome.) While all this is
happening, Bucky also strikes up a relationship with a sweet young
waitress named Kathy (Christina Ricci). Kathy seems like a bright young
woman, and Ricci plays her with charm. So, why is she hanging around
Bucky to begin with?

Looking back over my review, I see that I have left very little out.
This literally is all there is to the movie. There's no real conflict,
other than a very halfhearted falling out between Bucky and Kathy that
exists solely because the movie was nearly 90 minutes old, and nothing
had really happened so far. This is nothing more than a story of an
insufferable schmuck who goes to Hollywood, gets a job in porn, and
falls in love with a nice girl. That's all. There's a hint of a subplot
concerning the jealous porn star, Dick Shadow, trying to ruin Bucky's
career. But this is so unmemorable, it could be cut from the film
without anyone noticing. Why did it take three people to write a movie
where virtually nothing happens? A movie that's quite clearly dead.

Yes, Bucky Larson is a dead movie. It shows no signs of life or
inspiration. It doesn't even have the decency to be a lively or
memorable bad movie. It just sort of lies there, not doing anything,
and then asks us to leave 100 minutes later. Those who know me know
that I never wish ill will upon anyone, but I seriously think that a
movie like this could end careers. I hope that doesn't happen. I'm sure
Nick Swardson is a nice and funny guy in real life. I'm also sure he'll
be apologizing for this one for a long time to come.