The Cottage

March 14, 2008 0 By Fans
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)


In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central…

Release Year: 2008

Rating: 6.2/10 (6,532 voted)

Paul Andrew Williams

Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, Jennifer Ellison

In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.


Andy Serkis


Reece Shearsmith


Jennifer Ellison


Steven O'Donnell


James Bierman


Cat Meacher

Club Receptionist

Danny Nussbaum

Man in Suit

Logan Wong

Muk Li San

Jonathan Chan-Pensley

Chun Yo Fu

Simon Schatzberger


Doug Bradley

Villager with Dog

Dave Legeno

The Farmer

(as David Legeno)

Katy Murphy

Farmer's Wife

Georgia Groome

Farmer's Daughter 1

Eden Watson

Farmer's Daughter 2

Sleeps six bloody comfortably.


Official Website:
Official soundtrack site |

Release Date: 14 March 2008

Filming Locations: Isle of Man

Box Office Details

Budget: £2,500,000


Opening Weekend: £303,072
(16 March 2008)
(260 Screens)

Gross: £598,221
(23 March 2008)

Technical Specs


Did You Know?


According to director Williams, Tracey was originally written as a 40-year-old character but, to get the finance, he was told to cast someone young.


When David drives to the nearby village to make the phone call he parks his car facing the opposite direction he is to return. After the call and after his encounter with the village folks he returns to his car and drives off without reversing his car. The car was automatically reversed.


She alright?

She's still unconscious.

That's chloroform for you.

User Review

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film

Rating: 7/10

Director Paul Andrew Williams wanted to "write a film that cost no
money and was all set in one place". And the first sixty or so minutes
stuck to this agenda pretty well; Two brothers kidnap the daughter
(Jennifer Ellison) of a wealthy man, he sends out two crazy Chinese
guys to kill them, nerdy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) looses the
all important mobile phone and older hard-man brother David (Andy
Serkis) swears a lot, all in the confines of a deserted cottage. The
dialogue is just about snappy enough to keep this interesting. Not much
to be said for the camera work – but it does kinda add to the
atmosphere. And then they end up in another cottage and the blood bath

It's pretty obvious why they cast Ellison: she has big bouncy boobs and
her harsh liverpoodlian accent is juxtaposed perfectly with her blonde
hair and Barbie doll face. No one really cares that her script rarely
ventures beyond words too rude to publish here – the camera generally
focuses on her chest/backside with the occasional headbut thrown in.
Shame really; I was hoping she'd amaze us all with her diverse acting
talent, but I guess it's a case of you can take the girl out of
Brookside but you won't get an amazing actress out of a soap star.

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film. The perfect gangster with a
heart, his sincerity and charm kept me watching throughout. I'm not
entirely sure why he chose to do The Cottage – perhaps, like me, he was
hoping this would be one of those rare things; a funny independent
British comedy. But unfortunately it just felt like Williams had taken
The Chain Sore Massacre and Hot Fuzz, cut out the best bits, stuck the
leftovers in a blender and then forgot to cook it properly.

By all means go see this if you like blood, guts and rolling heads,
just don't expect any intellect in the script.